Scattered Thoughts . . .

A friend of ours, Anne, recently shared a few photos she shot while visiting a butterfly conservatory in Massachusetts a few days ago. If you've ever tried shooting butterflies you know how difficult it can be to get some nice shots of them! Anne shared a really nice album and it prompted me to go digging for some photos I shot in the butterfly house at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden when we visited in 2009. These feathery, lightweight day-flying insects are difficult to follow in flight which makes it exceptionally difficult to capture a nice photo of them while in flight. To be honest, I don't know if I have ever managed to capture a decent photo of any butterfly while in flight! If I ever do, I am sure it would be completely by sheer luck... and I'm not really the luckiest guy in the world so accomplishing this is highly unlikely. I have, however, managed to capture a few nice shots of butterflies perched on plants while bathing in the sun (not me...  the bu

Today is Rare Disease Day. (Or, is it Rare Disease Awareness Day?)  Because of this occasion, I thought it would be appropriate to write about my feelings toward my illness, Systemic Mastocytosis, and awareness days such as today. In short, I suppose you could say that I feel similar about today's awareness day as I do on Memorial Day. On Memorial Day, I'm reminded of all the ghosts whom have left empty holes not only in my life, but it seems like in my soul as well.  Memorial Day is not a pleasant day for me and I tend to lock myself in my home on Memorial Day weekend. I don't want to watch movies of war... I don't like the memories fireworks evoke... I don't want to do anything which will remind me of what I try so hard to put into the back of my mind every day. Rare Disease Day feels the same to me and only reminds me of my early struggles with this illness... how long ago that was (read how unbearably long I have been struggling)... the support groups a

I have been in the process of descriptively writing about some early morning kayaking I have done while at Lake Groton. It should be a really nice piece when I finally finish it. Because of that project, I have been skimming through my hard drives searching for the best photos I have shot from my kayak while the sun is rising and slowly burning off all the early morning fog. Occasionally, I come across an unrelated photo which captures my attention. This photo here was one such photo and understandingly diverted me from my original project. I'm sure that those of you from Waterbury recognize this cluttered but blurry background as  The Alchemist Pub & Brewery.  This photo was shot in May, 2011  before Tropical Storm Irene destroyed all of downtown Waterbury including this popular gathering place by submerging and swallowing our entire community and spitting out nothing but destruction, mold, mildew and tons upon tons of stinky, oil and sewage laden mud. My camera was new

This past weekend, we managed to get out for an afternoon and evening on the town in Burlington. It had been about nine weeks since we last had an opportunity to get out with some friends and that is far too long! All in all, we had a great time with Frank and Christine. We met at Vermont Pub & Brewery which has always been one of our favorite spots to visit. Unfortunately, the service absolutely sucked but the food, the drinks, and especially the company were exceptional. Not only was the bartending quite lousy because it was extremely difficult to get each round of drinks, but one bartender got a bit arrogant with us seemingly simply because we wanted to order another round of drinks and some food. Idiot.  What is really odd is that there were four people behind the bar and the bar wasn't even what I would consider "crowded". Additionally, we were seated at the bar yet we still had to struggle to get a bartender's attention for each round of drinks and foo

Like most days, I had a plan for this morning.  It was an extremely simple plan, but I had a plan...  1.  Get up out of bed as soon as possible... 2.  Take my cocktail of morning medications... 3.  Start a load of laundry... 4.  Shower and shave... 5.  Get dressed... 6.  Eat something small so I don't stress my body unnecessarily and run out of energy any sooner than my health dictates... 7. Start the car and clean off the snow (Sheila cleaned off the snow this morning before heading to work so my car was good to go)... 8.  Drive to town to pick up a refill prescription (took the last pill last night)... 9.  If I still have more energy, then try to tackle a small project in the house (I still need to finish that fireplace project)... Well...  I only managed to get to number five, "Get Dressed", before running completely out of energy.  So, here I sit, completely spent for the day simply by getting out of bed, starting a load of laundry, showering and s

Overall, since Christmas, my health has been quite lousy to put it mildly. I used up too many "spoons" in the month of December leading up to Christmas. (For those who don't know, a "spoon" is a unit of energy... see  Gift of an Extra Spoon .) As a result of using far too many spoons in December, I am still trying to recover in February. Unfortunately, the end of this recovery period is nowhere in sight at the moment.  I am so exhausted and experiencing such consistently poor health that I'm having great difficulty even thinking clearly. Just writing this short blog entry is taking about four hours of frustrating work. My thoughts jump from topic to topic in just a few short seconds... yes, a few short  seconds.   I am having great difficulty trying to accurately explain... uggg... about five minutes have passed while I struggled to finish that sentence. I suppose that might explain my difficulties fairly accurately. I don't know whether to scream or

As I've mentioned before in previous blog entries, whenever I am having health problems and feeling too lousy to accomplish much, I go back to my storage hard drives to revisit some of my old photos. I have many thousands of photos to sift through! Last night, while struggling with my eyesight (which is still a problem today), I scrolled through some photos on my big desktop computer's new pro-quality IPS monitor. This monitor makes viewing photos and websites a lot easier for me when I am having issues with my vision.   The folder I chose to sift through held photos from 2011 of a long weekend visit to Long Island. We had spent some time at Jones Beach that long weekend. I also have some photos from our walk along the Nautical Mile on Freeport's Woodcleft Canal. The photos of interest in this particular folder, however, were all the photos I shot of family members at my nephew's high school graduation party. (Although, truth be told, I shot a lot of really ni

As I opened my eyes first thing this morning, I was having difficulty breathing.  I couldn't catch my breath.  I would suck in lungfuls of air but it may as well have been water. I felt as though I was trying to breath oxygenless air in the vacuum of deep space.  I sucked air deep into my lungs... nothing... the air just went in and out and I still needed air. It was like the air had no oxygen in it... or like I had the wind knocked out of me after being slammed to the ground while playing hockey or basketball.     I also was having difficulty finding the energy to wake myself up enough to get up out of bed. I felt as though I went to bed completely exhausted, fell asleep, and now someone was trying to awaken me just a few minutes after falling asleep. This wasn't just trying to wake up. No, this was weakness like I had no control over my own body. This is something with which I am far too familiar... I quickly realized that this is bad news... bad, bad, bad news.  As I

Sheila and I have become huge fans of The Travel Channel's "Hotel Impossible". The show helps hoteliers in need who can't seem to grasp why they are losing business. In many cases, what many of these hotel owners and managers think is "acceptable" is absurd and that is the reason they are failing. What is worse is that I think most travelers could be better managers than many of these featured hoteliers. This makes for some interesting shows. The host of the show, Anthony Melchiorri, is an interesting guy and highly qualified to host this show or manage any hotel or resort in the world. His resume is quite impressive and his management style, vocabulary and behavior resembles my own. He knows when to get angry, he knows when to raise his voice and he knows when to back off, listen and be a bit more 'soft' when necessary.  His resume includes glowing reviews of his work and successes at The Plaza, DoubleTree Times Square, Lucerne Hotel and the histo

My Systemic Mastocytosis is rearing its ugly head again this week.  I could be feeling worse... but, I wish I was feeling better.  I feel as though I am in a constant battle which frustratingly involves two steps back and only one step forward, over and over and over... I'm very nauseated this morning...  weak...  overwhelmingly fatigued... mild tachycardia since awaking this morning (now down to 100 bpm... but was up around 120 bpm when I awoke). This is usually a sign that I had an anaphylaxic episode in my sleep before awaking.   During an anaphylaxic episode, if I am awake, I notice a marked weakness and heaviness in my legs, vision becomes narrow, and breathing difficulties start.  These are my usual signs of impending anaphylaxia and I must jump on emergency medications immediately... if I am awake, that is.  If this happens in my sleep, as it sometimes does, I must hope that my body responds naturally and effectively to this sudden drop in blood pressure. On the positi