Scattered Thoughts . . .

The past few days, my level of overwhelming fatigue was so...  well, overwhelming... that I couldn't help but wonder if I had enough energy left to recover. How low does one's energy level need to get that I actually wonder whether you can find the energy to recover? I don't know the precise answer to this question but I do know that it is exceptionally, frighteningly low. I sometimes forget that this overwhelming fatigue is also an active symptom of my illness and not simply a result of wearing myself down. This time, I did also wear myself down. Between the long rail trip and then some activity around the house, I definitely wore myself out. I definitely over-did it. History has proven that when I get worn out from this crazy amount of activity, it can take months to recover. This fatigue, however, can also be a symptom and a clue to impending poor health... a clue to a cascading mast cell degranulation event leading to anaphylaxis... this is what happened last night

After a lousy evening last night with some painful and debilitating health issues which left me drained, weak, and having difficulty just walking across a room, I am having a surprisingly "good" morning! The pain I experienced the last few days was miserable and last night that pain moved into the area of my kidneys only making the pain more widespread and bordering on intolerable. I am feeling a bit better this morning. Of course, this is with the help of some extra emergency medications which come with their own problems and side-effects but these medications have elevated my health into a far better place overall. I also managed to get some extra sleep last night which is always good. I had enough energy this morning to shower and shave. I was even thinking clearly enough to fix an email issue I've had for the past few days! I was having such cognitive difficulties that I could not figure out how to resolve this email issue. (Incidentally, my web hosting service co

This past week has been an unbearable week of inflammation and debilitating pain. Needless to say, getting anything accomplished this week was virtually impossible.   Standing hurt, sitting hurt, laying hurt and sleeping long enough to keep my health stable was very difficult because the pain kept me awake. Understandably, my mood was negatively impacted. My ability to stay focused on anything for longer than a few short minutes was impossible. What an absolutely frustrating and excruciatingly painful week.  My entire spine was so inflamed it seemed like it was swollen and on fire... constantly... steadily... it burned consistently like the sun.  Each of the areas of my spine that have been injured during my career hurt so badly that it felt as though I had a large swollen red bump the size of a handball at each point of injury.  For those who aren't aware, after two line-of-duty spinal injuries I am left with two herniated disks, four bulging disks, six compressed disks, two a

Today I awoke feeling so miserable and in so much pain that I needed to call my doctor to ask if I should make an appointment or just go directly to the emergency room.  You know when you are already thinking of an emergency room visit before you even call your doctor, the pain is bad! Since Monday morning, I have been awaking every morning with intense pain in the area of my kidneys.   This pain has been so bad at times that I can barely walk across a room. The odd thing is that the pain has mostly been when I awake in the morning and then wanes throughout the morning. This problem, however, seems to be a relatively common problem for those of us suffering from the more aggressive form of Systemic Mastocytosis.  The mast cells erroneously attack an internal organ, for instance the kidneys, and that causes irritated and inflamed nerve endings on and around my kidneys.  But, before we assume this the cause, we must rule out everything else. For Systemic Mastocytosis patients, ther