Scattered Thoughts . . .

Whenever I go through periods of poor health, I struggle with finding ways to feel productive, useful and even nonburdensome to those around me. As any chronically ill patient will attest, far too often I'm feeling too lousy to accomplish enough to stave off feelings of inadequacy during these periods and it is incredibly difficult to find ways to feel productive. Physically, during these periods, you are fighting off pain and a complex and constantly changing myriad of debilitating symptoms. Mentally, you are fighting off being bored to the point of tears because whenever you are feeling lousy, you are sort of in a vacuum getting nothing accomplished. Emotionally, you are fighting feelings of inadequacy, being a burden and being unproductive... you struggle with not having a purpose... you even struggle with the grief of losing the healthy, strong and pain-free body you once had, the active life you once had, the career you once had... let's just say that struggling with gri

I've been trying to hone my skills with my digital pen and graphics tablet over the past couple of days. I have to say, this is not helping me get any rest though! Last night I started on what I thought would be a little test project. It is something I've always wanted to draw and paint... an old rural gas station... some dramatic lighting. By 3am, I knew I bit off more than I could chew for a "little test project". My intention was to just sketch out some ideas. The sketches developed quickly and then I was adding background and foreground (although, for me, the foreground could use something more)... and filling with color. Before long, I was having difficulty keeping my eyes open! The problem with a project like this is that I've learned that once I get my creativity flowing, I really need to allow that flow to continue for as long as possible. Coming back to an art project later rarely works well for me.  The next time I sit down and try to start that