Scattered Thoughts . . .

A t 6:30 this morning, I got up for the third time to use the bathroom...  which itself is becoming more and more common as I get older...  but what was a bit unusual this morning is that I ended up in excruciating pain as a crumpled mess on the bathroom floor.  Getting up out of bed was extremely painful so I knew I was in for a rough morning at least for a short while.  I certainly wasn't expecting what happened though.  Getting out of bed was so painful this morning that I actually thought about grabbing my cane.  I quickly dismissed that idea, I think, because if I had to wake up enough to remember where I left my cane or to go looking for my cane, I would not be going back to bed after using the bathroom.  Too much thought would wake me enough that falling back asleep would be impossible.  I actually have two canes now but I have no idea where my older cane is located at the moment.   After carefully and painfully swinging my feet down off the bed and standing, I limped toward

While Sheila and I were moving the wet, heavy, foot or more of snow this evening, I tripped while trying to move the snowblower in reverse and I fell right onto my right pelvis...  the site of last week's biopsy...  and the pain was so brutal that I was seeing stars and just continued to lie there in the snow where I landed.   I figured that, at that point, it was probably good to just lie there in the cold snow.  Lying on my back in the snow actually was applying pressure and ice on the site of my biopsy so I really was in no hurry to attempt to get back up on my feet.  The pain was bad enough that trying to get back up to my feet would be difficult anyway.   How I ended up in this predicament is I was blowing snow on the back side of the house cutting a clear path from the road back to our oil tank and gas tank.  This put me out of sight from Sheila who was in the driveway on the other side of the house.  After my trip and fall, I figured I would take a little break and lie there

I had no problems falling asleep last night.  I was dozing off by 8pm.  I awoke at 4:30am this morning when I tried to roll over onto my right side.  I was quickly reminded that the bone marrow biopsy was on my right side though so that woke me up suddenly.   I read in bed for a bit and then got up out of bed with Sheila when she got up for work at just before 6am.  However, I was unable to keep my eyes open by 8am and slept on the couch until just before noon (on my left side, of course).   I didn't even eat anything for breakfast because I was too exhausted to make anything.  I was originally planning to make some bacon and French toast because I was starving.  Due to a serious lack of energy, I changed my breakfast plan to just having a bagel with cream cheese.  I still didn't have the energy to make even that.  Instead, I grabbed a couple pillows from the bedroom and laid down on the couch.  I was asleep the moment my head hit the pillow and didn't get up until almost n

Yesterday, we spent the day at the hospital running from appointment to appointment and squeezing in a couple of unscheduled stops too.  We had thought it would be a straightforward day with no significant news (which means we expected no stress and no problems) . Not only did we receive some new news but we found that there is such a thing as different levels of bad news. We started at Genetics. Here we discussed new genetic tests that help determine whether there are any known genetic components to Sheila's cancer. If we find that there are any known genetic components, then Sheila's children and grandchildren will be on a completely different and more aggressive preventive medicine schedule than that recommended for the general public.  The purpose of this genetic testing is to rate the risk of cancer being carried genetically through statistics and common cancer genes in order to avoid potential cancer getting out of hand in any children or grandchildren before the r

The following morning after we sat down with the doctor to discuss the results of Sheila's mammogram and ultrasound imaging, we were headed back to the hospital for a biopsy. Sheila has been down this road before. Her first biopsy was 11 years ago, then surgery, radiation, chemo and the years of follow-up testing, imaging and exams. But, this morning, we were back at square one again. I have to say that it was not a pleasant feeling to be back at square one again. We both were so anxious that we thought we couldn't eat. We sat down to eat but we both commented that we had no desire for food whatsoever. The funny thing is... once we started eating, we pretty much finished our meals. I think the food absorbed some of the stomach acid being pumped into our empty stomachs due to our nerves. We felt a bit better after eating. On the drive to the hospital this morning our conversation changed from a pep talk type of thing giving positive reinforcement to someone who has already