Scattered Thoughts . . .

Kenzie is holding up a couple of figurines from my Dickens Village as she watches little people on the train video... Just about everyone knows I enjoy trains and model railroading.  I've always been drawn to trains as far back as I can remember.  I asked for my first train set when I was only four years old and I have been hooked ever since then.   Lukas and Mackenzie were with us today and I couldn't help but notice how excited, entranced and mesmerized they became while watching three videos of model trains that I received just today.  They were very animated... jumping... dancing... screaming "dains" as they point at a new train entering the scene on the television screen... making chugging sounds... running up to the television and looking as though they think they could just reach out and grab a train for themselves. I've never seen them so glued to the television for so long! So, what is it about these little models that causes almost all kids to

I have always hated having to try to decipher some code and type it into a box before being able to proceed with something I want to do online.  Most often, that code is so hard to read that it requires three tries to get a code correct before I actually get the code right!  This can be extremely infuriating!  As a result, I have always avoided using this step on my blog, however, it is time for a change. I am having to sort through far too many comments each day that are only spam.  I want to keep comments available to anyone, including those who don't have any account with Google or Blogger, so my only other option was to enable a word verification procedure for each comment in order to eliminate spam comments.   In essence, the word verification procedure is less of a problem than the spam I need to sort through every single day.  The crazier thing is that only a tiny fraction of a percent of the comments on my blog posts are real posts...  hmmm...  Maybe I should just elimi

My health has been rather lousy for the past week with the last few days being the worst.  This happens fairly often.  Well actually, it happens far too often!  Anyway, whenever this occurs, I find myself sitting around thinking about all the things I wish I could be doing instead.  I'd rather be building things for the house...  I'd rather be active with some hobbies...  I'd rather have energy for socializing with family and friends...  and I truly do wish I had the energy and health to workout like I used to do every day and not just the basic daily physical therapy I struggle with daily! And, I can't begin to explain how much I miss having a job that I absolutely love. I find myself sitting around trying to remember what it was like to have no pain...  to be able to breath easily...  to be able to do anything at all without pangs of shooting pain...  to have the energy like I did before this illness changed my life completely.  At this point, it is incredibly dif

Grammy and Kenzie... Once or twice each month, we invite a few family and friends over for dinner on a Sunday.  This past Sunday was one of those Sundays. Frank and Christine had just returned home from their wedding and honeymoon in Hawaii so it was nice to see them.  We skimmed through the first batch of photos from their trip...   around a thousand...  and we look forward to seeing the rest of the photos when they have them all uploaded and ready for viewing.   We even viewed a video of their Hawaiian beach wedding ceremony!   It was really nice to see the newlyweds and hear about their long tropical pacific trip.  As always, we enjoyed their company this past Sunday. Sheila's parents, Liza and the grandchildren were here as well.  Everyone seemed to enjoy the day together as well as the dinner. Story time... For dinner, I roasted a large top round roast beef...  herb encrusted...  with fresh garlic cloves embedded in the roast.  We also had mashed potatoes, a

The arts can be an amazing therapeutic tool for those of us living with chronic illness and/or permanent disability.  The arts such as music, drawing, painting, sketching, crafts can provide a much needed pathway for expression when even the simplest of everyday tasks seem overwhelmingly daunting. For the most part, my health has been quite lousy for the past few months.  This sort of health affects every aspect of my everyday life, and unfortunately, this is especially true when it comes to my ability to express my creative, artistic side.  Expressing myself in art is difficult when my thoughts, as well as my emotions, tend to be shrouded in darkness. I have struggled with this sort of thing my entire life.  For many, performing music or being creative in art lightens moods, entices relaxation and rejuvenates one's soul.  On the other hand, there are those people such as myself who just cannot find a single creative nor artistic fiber in my being when I am not completely relax

There is just something about supermarkets and grocery stores that causes major health problems for me.  I don't know if it is a cleaning product that they all use regularly that somehow triggers mast cell degranulation in my body...  or all those horrendous, dangerous florescent lights...  or maybe exhaust fumes from the loading dock being sucked into their HVAC system...  or some unknown trigger for me....  but, my health crashes more often in a grocery store than any other place. I had a pretty good morning yesterday.  I did some light work on our master bedroom hallway.  I temporarily moved some electrical wiring for the furnace to make room for a pocket door.  I removed some studs.  Then I ran out of energy and figured it was time for lunch and then a nap. When I awoke from my nap at 5pm, I felt like my abdomen was on fire.  It was a really weird sensation.  I felt like I had been put in a microwave oven or like radiation was centered on my abdomen.  Within a half hour, we

In my blog post yesterday, I mentioned that getting tasks and projects accomplished  around the house  the past few months   has been difficult, if not impossible, because my energy level is so low.  At low energy times like these, just collecting the tools I need for a specific task or project is enough to wear me out for the day. I suppose the first thing I should explain is what I mean by "wears me out for the day" and "no energy"... What I mean here is that I barely have the energy to walk across a room.  My legs are weak, wobbly and feel as though they could collapse at any time.  I get winded just trying to walk a few feet.  Nausea overcomes me.  My bones and joints hurt...  especially my spinal injuries, but also my ribs, pelvis, legs, knees, ankles and feet.  Sometimes my hands and fingers hurt so bad I cannot hold anything without excruciating pain.  I drop things...  I stumble and trip on things. My energy level is so low that simply trying to hold a

Since being clobbered by Systemic Mastocytosis well over a decade ago, I often have a full schedule of medical appointments and diagnostic testing.  A few years ago, I decided that I just could not keep up this schedule year-round so have consistently taken a break each and every summer.   Now the summer is over and my calendar indicates I need to head to the hospital next week.  I also received a phone call from my primary care doc this afternoon informing me I need to come in for a complete physical.  My energy level has never been as low as it has over the past two months.  I wore myself down at the lake house in mid-June and I just have not recovered.  When I attempt to accomplish something around the house, just collecting tools has been enough to wear me down enough that I can do nothing more.  Then I struggle finding the energy to put all the tools away...  never accomplishing anything other than wearing myself down unnecessarily.   Needless to say, having no energy while

At this time, I should be heading down to Springfield, Vermont for Adam's graduation from the Civil Air Patrol Northeast Region Glider Academy.  However, I will not be attending this graduation. There has been much frustration over how this Academy has been coordinated and managed in the months before Adam arrived for his session.  While Adam was attending the Academy this past week, this frustration boiled over into intense anger due to unprofessional behavior by an instructor at the Academy which could be described as immature and unprofessional, at best.  His behavior certainly was childish and inappropriate.  More importantly, his behavior showed no apparent signs of integrity nor excellence, both of which are core values that these instructors are tasked with instilling in their cadet students.  His subsequent actions (read inactions) have shown no acknowledgement of wrongdoing nor remorse. This incident has left me so incensed and deeply disturbed that my 'inner drill

Our little picnic area on Lake Groton... I wanted to write about this last night but just could not find the energy to do so.  I did, however, manage to post a link late last night on my Facebook page to a small album of photos from our visit to Lake Groton last week.  So, now I will also post that link here and write a little about this latest visit to Lake Groton... First, here is the link to the album...   Lake Groton - 15 Aug 2013. Our original plan was to head back to Groton on Adam's birthday...  August 14th.  Well, the weather didn't cooperate so we postponed the short trip by a day.  Unfortunately, because we postponed the trip, nobody was able to join us.  We still enjoyed ourselves but it was a little disappointing that nobody could make it for Adam's birthday celebration. Putting that disappointment aside, the weather was awesome!  It was a little chilly when the sun was behind the scattered clouds, but the sun was very warm (actually, it was HOT at tim