Consequences of Missing Naps
Ever since this systemic mastocytosis illness has taken ahold of my body (read death grip), I have struggled with overwhelming fatigue.
Overwhelming fatigue... First, I think I need to explain what qualifies as overwhelming fatigue.
This is fatigue which is so severe that it affects my ability to think clearly and make simple decisions...
It is a fatigue so severe that it is difficult to mindlessly hold something lightweight such as a book or magazine or my Kindle Fire tablet long enough to even begin the task of reading...
It is a fatigue which makes reading comprehension frustratingly impossible...
It is a fatigue so severe that my legs feel like mushy goo making walking short distances difficult to impossible...
It is fatigue so severe that I could fall asleep within mere seconds at any moment, even while standing, and then sleep for a solid 4-12 hours...
It is a fatigue which is so severe that it makes my normal triggers (for systemic mastocytosis episodes) become much more sensitive and much more easily triggered.
If you have ever struggled with mononucleosis, you are definitely familiar with a fatigue that healthy people just cannot fathom. I've tested positive and struggled with mononucleosis three times in my life so I know this fatigue all too well and wouldn't wish this fatigue on my worst enemy. Now, multiply this fatigue caused by mononucleosis by ten or more and then you are in my new neighborhood which goes by the name of overwhelming fatigue.
I struggle with fatigue everyday. Unfortunately, this is a constant battle which I often lose. At this stage of my illness, my body requires a good night's sleep (8-12 hours) and a two to four hour nap each and every afternoon. If I skip this nap, I pay the consequences in the following days. It can take a full week, sometimes two, to recover from missing just one or two of these daily naps.
This management of naps to control my overwhelming fatigue is just one small part of a larger but just as important struggle in what I call energy management. I've briefly talked about energy management a number of times in previous blog posts here and even linked a beautiful article written by another patient about measuring energy with "spoons" in what she calls her "Spoon Theory". Energy management is rather simple in theory but complex in everyday execution. These naps are just one small part of energy management.
This past weekend, I missed my daily nap on both days and I'm definitely paying the price this week. This fatigue seems to snowball when you lose control of managing it. It can take days or even weeks to get back on top of effectively managing and controlling it again.
This fatigue is sort of like running downhill, down a mountainside, with a huge boulder tumbling down the hill right behind you... you're trying to stay in control enough to avoid tumbling head over heels or running uncontrollably off the path and into the woods slamming into strong, unyielding trees... struggling to stay on the steep downhill path but moving quickly enough to avoid being run over by the huge boulder which is threateningly bearing down on you... struggling to keep your feet firmly planted under your fragile body in each long stride you take...
Fatigue can get you from all sides. Fatigue is the result of any combination of all those opposing forces pushing our bodies in different directions.
Fatigue is the boulder bearing down on you and moving far too quickly to easily stay out in front of it without being run over... fatigue is each of those solidly rooted trees next to the path threatening to knock the wind out of you (as well as consciousness) as you slam into them ... fatigue is the never-ending mountainside you are trying to navigate, downhill, at high speed without losing control... fatigue is the gravity pulling our bodies down this mountainside faster than we can effectively manage. Once that boulder begins to nip at your heels, it is all over and seemingly impossible to get out in front of it again. Once you lose control, you get run over, slammed and crushed.
As is the case with most weekends, I missed my naps all through the weekend this past weekend. It was a fairly busy Mother's Day weekend for us and I simply could not nap. Needless to say, I am struggling this week to get back safely ahead of the giant boulder...
I've already been run over by the boulder... I've slammed into a few trees... I'm sore and all my bones and joints ache...
I'm so exhausted my eyes are just puffy slits and just the act of breathing is like work...
I'm tired...
Overwhelming fatigue... First, I think I need to explain what qualifies as overwhelming fatigue.
This is fatigue which is so severe that it affects my ability to think clearly and make simple decisions...
It is a fatigue so severe that it is difficult to mindlessly hold something lightweight such as a book or magazine or my Kindle Fire tablet long enough to even begin the task of reading...
It is a fatigue which makes reading comprehension frustratingly impossible...
It is a fatigue so severe that my legs feel like mushy goo making walking short distances difficult to impossible...
It is fatigue so severe that I could fall asleep within mere seconds at any moment, even while standing, and then sleep for a solid 4-12 hours...
It is a fatigue which is so severe that it makes my normal triggers (for systemic mastocytosis episodes) become much more sensitive and much more easily triggered.
If you have ever struggled with mononucleosis, you are definitely familiar with a fatigue that healthy people just cannot fathom. I've tested positive and struggled with mononucleosis three times in my life so I know this fatigue all too well and wouldn't wish this fatigue on my worst enemy. Now, multiply this fatigue caused by mononucleosis by ten or more and then you are in my new neighborhood which goes by the name of overwhelming fatigue.
I struggle with fatigue everyday. Unfortunately, this is a constant battle which I often lose. At this stage of my illness, my body requires a good night's sleep (8-12 hours) and a two to four hour nap each and every afternoon. If I skip this nap, I pay the consequences in the following days. It can take a full week, sometimes two, to recover from missing just one or two of these daily naps.
This management of naps to control my overwhelming fatigue is just one small part of a larger but just as important struggle in what I call energy management. I've briefly talked about energy management a number of times in previous blog posts here and even linked a beautiful article written by another patient about measuring energy with "spoons" in what she calls her "Spoon Theory". Energy management is rather simple in theory but complex in everyday execution. These naps are just one small part of energy management.
This past weekend, I missed my daily nap on both days and I'm definitely paying the price this week. This fatigue seems to snowball when you lose control of managing it. It can take days or even weeks to get back on top of effectively managing and controlling it again.
This fatigue is sort of like running downhill, down a mountainside, with a huge boulder tumbling down the hill right behind you... you're trying to stay in control enough to avoid tumbling head over heels or running uncontrollably off the path and into the woods slamming into strong, unyielding trees... struggling to stay on the steep downhill path but moving quickly enough to avoid being run over by the huge boulder which is threateningly bearing down on you... struggling to keep your feet firmly planted under your fragile body in each long stride you take...
Fatigue can get you from all sides. Fatigue is the result of any combination of all those opposing forces pushing our bodies in different directions.
Fatigue is the boulder bearing down on you and moving far too quickly to easily stay out in front of it without being run over... fatigue is each of those solidly rooted trees next to the path threatening to knock the wind out of you (as well as consciousness) as you slam into them ... fatigue is the never-ending mountainside you are trying to navigate, downhill, at high speed without losing control... fatigue is the gravity pulling our bodies down this mountainside faster than we can effectively manage. Once that boulder begins to nip at your heels, it is all over and seemingly impossible to get out in front of it again. Once you lose control, you get run over, slammed and crushed.
As is the case with most weekends, I missed my naps all through the weekend this past weekend. It was a fairly busy Mother's Day weekend for us and I simply could not nap. Needless to say, I am struggling this week to get back safely ahead of the giant boulder...
I've already been run over by the boulder... I've slammed into a few trees... I'm sore and all my bones and joints ache...
I'm so exhausted my eyes are just puffy slits and just the act of breathing is like work...
I'm tired...
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