Another Exhausting Week

The rooftop garden at the hospital... the cafe's fresh vegetables are grown here.

We began our week feeling positive and energized which was awesome because this is the first time we began a week in this way in months.

Sheila had about five days off in a row so she could catch up on sleep and continue to recover from her recent surgery, the beginning of radiation treatment and a terrible cold that developed at a very inopportune time. By the fifth day of rest, naps, and recovery, Sheila was acting more like herself and showing a bit more energy so our week started off with both of us feeling great!

The one danger of feeling great during a long and trying period of treatment is that it is very easy to overdo it by doing more than the body can handle over the next few days. We were both careful about keeping each other in check because we are already well versed in managing energy due to my own continuous health issues. That being said, it is now Thursday and we are running out of steam. 

Getting some of the kinks out of her neck...

On the positive side, it is Thursday so the weekend is close. We're both feeling exhausted and we're both in rather lousy moods which is probably due to feeling exhausted again. 

I think my own lousy mood is more about not getting anything accomplished around the house... for us, but mostly for Sheila. I want the house to be as comfortable as possible for her. 

I'll have to admit that I am getting at least one very small thing accomplished each day (mostly small electrical projects this week) but we had big plans for renovations this autumn and none of that is getting done which is leaving me very frustrated. What adds to this frustration is that the house is a mess because it is cluttered with the building materials and tools needed for those renovations. So, the clutter is a daily reminder that I am getting almost nothing accomplished. My mood hasn't been improving.  

On the positive side, Sheila had caught up on sleep and had started out the week feeling very well. Also on the positive side is that Sheila's radiation treatment seems to be going well. The doctors, nurses, and technicians are all happy and optimistic. These are definitely pluses.  

Another positive about this week is that we had a few phone calls and visits from friends and that is always nice (see the card in one of the photos below). This was especially nice this week because we're feeling that our life has become a bit monotonous with our daily visits to the hospital. Another positive about this week is that Liza and the grandkids have called a few times and those times were definitely needed and emotionally uplifting for Gee as well as for Papa!  

A friend visited with a card from many of Sheila's old co-workers...  thanks, Charity!

All in all, it has been a very good week thus far but we're both exhausted again. I suppose we're both a bit bored too which doesn't help with our mood. We're keeping busy with reading and hobbies but the down time is affecting our moods. It sort of feels like we put everything... I mean everything... on hold for cancer and cancer recovery. The cancer recovery is overshadowing everything else and our life revolves around treatment and recovery only.

Neither one of us really has the energy to go out anywhere to socialize even for a short while. We're finding it is significantly easier on us if people just stop in at our house to say hello and catch up for a bit. We're being promised (read warned) by all the doctors that the fatigue will continue to get progressively worse for Sheila too as we move through November and toward Christmas. Although we're trying to focus on only one week at a time, I can't help but try to plan for a low energy, low key, stay close to home holiday season this year. (My original plan was to celebrate a family-and-friend Christmas in a big house on a lake but now we are planning for the opposite due to diminishing energy levels... maybe next year.) And this is from the guy who takes only one day at a time on even a good day and always hopes for a better day tomorrow. Now I find myself trying to plan ahead to make things as easy and yet as entertaining as possible for Sheila.

This is saying something because since my own health failed a little over a decade ago, my calendar has been shrouded in darkness whenever I attempt to plan ahead. If I try to imagine next month, I see only darkness. If I try to imagine next week, I see only darkness. Quite often, particularly on bad health days, if I try to imagine tomorrow, I see only darkness.  I do, however, always hope tomorrow will be a better day. My health dictates a "if I feel well now, then we should do something now" philosophy and I've always lived my life this way even when I was healthy. Lately, however, I find myself trying to plan through this darkness in order to make things a bit easier on Sheila. We both seem to be finding a lot of obstacles in this darkness though. 

Overall, this has been a good week thus far although a bit monotonous and exhausting.

Getting dressed after radiation therapy and a short visit with the nurse.