Nothing Much Getting Accomplished Lately

I haven't written here in quite a while because I simply have not had the energy to accomplish anything including even writing a simple blog entry.  I assume my main problem is that I am still fighting off this virus that has been coming and going since May.  January to May was miserable with a solid fever for four months, breathing difficulties, sore throat, congestion, vision problems, cognitive difficulties, and absurd levels of fatigue.  These symptoms have been coming and going in waves since the fever broke in May.

I'd say my biggest complaint is the viral fatigue.  The fatigue from my mast cell illness is debilitating and what I would call "overwhelming" at times but this fatigue due to this virus is far worse.  Just standing for any amount of time is too much to do.  I don't even have the energy to simply stand long enough to stop and say just a short sentence to Sheila.  I need to sit down.  By the time I get cleaned up and brush my teeth first thing in the morning, I am out of energy for the day.  The fatigue is brutal and relentless.

The breathing problems come and go.  Quite often my O2 level drops to the low 90s.  Sometimes it drops into the high 80s.  Every now and then, it actually drops into the upper 70s.  I get these same readings with my mast cell disease but these breathing problems are a little different.  Now, during these periods of breathing problems, I can feel congestion in my lungs and I am coughing in an attempt to clear out my lungs.  My usual mast cell breathing problems don't include feeling any sort of obstructions in my lungs but I do feel this now during my waves of recurring viral symptoms.

Considering my decades long understanding of chronic illness, I, personally, cannot understand the resistance in this country to effectively stopping this deadly, debilitating virus and pandemic.  It makes no logical sense to me.  I see people congregating in groups, unmasked...  I see people with no masks when out in public in stores...  I see people and families from out of state who should be home rather than spreading this virus further by traveling state to state (viral spread occurs through people with no symptoms so don't try to convince me you are virus-free simply because you "feel fine"... quite honestly, I don't care how you "feel" and it is irrelevant)...  I see people not abiding by simple rules of courtesy such as walking the proper direction in one way aisles in stores (a three year old is capable of doing this...  are you really this ignorant?)...  The sheer ignorance, thoughtlessness and selfishness of these people gets me angry beyond belief.  

For the first six months of this viral pandemic, I honestly wouldn't have wished this debilitating and life-threatening virus on anyone.  Today, after losing almost a year of my life due to being ill with this virus, I truly wish that these ignorant, selfish people would get clobbered by this virus.  It is clearly the only way a selfish, ignorant person would be able to understand the seriousness and severity of this virus because it is clear they are childishly incapable of understanding without experiencing the suffering themselves.  This truly is the epitome of immature, childish, selfish and downright stupid behavior by a society.

Here is some unsolicited advice...   The few guidelines we have for containing this virus are really simple to follow.  Really.  There is nothing complicated about following these few ridiculously easy to follow guidelines.  All you need to do is work if able, wear a mask when with other vulnerable living beings, keep a moderate distance from others (I don't want you in my space anyway), don't touch your face, wash your hands often (something you should be doing anyway) and use this time to enjoy your hobbies and interests on your own in the comfort of your own home (oh my, terrible, right?).  If you desire human interaction, all you need to do is use your cellphone (that mind-numbing, societal outcast-making device you can't seem to put down) to video chat with family and friends.  No congregating together in person.  No sitting in restaurants.  No sitting or standing in bars and pubs.  It really is simple...  minimize spreading the virus by staying home and, if you must go out of the house (for work or groceries) then cover your face with a mask.  It can't get any simpler and easier than this!  Why do so many people find this to be so incredibly difficult? 

Contrary to what you ignorantly claim, nobody who is wanting to effectively contain this virus is infringing upon your "freedoms".  Your freedoms are about speech, religion, even thinking.  Those are the true democratic freedoms.  Trying to control a deadly, debilitating virus is not infringing upon any of your democratic freedoms.  Idiot.  Get a life and do something responsible and productive with your life rather than whine, complain and spread this deadly virus.  Here's a thought...  maybe you should spend a little of your time at home bettering your education in online coursework.  That is what the smart people are doing during this societal downtime.  And, just to be clear, "bettering your education in online coursework" does not mean reading, studying, memorializing or celebrating absurd conspiracy theories.  It means furthering your education level through some formal coursework.  You have the world's largest library available at your fingertips.  Use it appropriately and responsibly!

Back to the original topic, I've been very sick and struggling since January.  This, on top of being chronically ill with an incurable disease that is already debilitating, painful and overwhelming as well as having extensive spinal injuries that are relentlessly painful.  The last thing I want to hear is some crybaby whining about having to wear a very simple, lightweight mask in a proven and effective way to contain this deadly, highly contagious virus.

Oh yeah (I'm straying again)...  about the idiots complaining about how difficult it is to breathe while wearing a medical grade mask...  First, if you think simply wearing a medical mask is "difficult", you have no idea of the breathing problems I face every single day.  I know what "difficulty breathing" really entails and wearing an N95 mask is nothing close to being difficult.  Additionally, are these complainers implying that all those dedicated medical professionals helping us, operating on us, and treating us in hospitals are deprived of oxygen while they are thinking clearly and helping us every day of their lives?  What a bunch of ignorant idiots you belong to if you think this.  Congratulations!  You are now qualified as a full-fledged member of IIA...  Ignorant Idiots of America.  Listen, moron, if I can comfortably wear a mask while struggling with my chronic breathing problems, anyone can do it.  Grow up.  If medical professionals can do their jobs while constantly wearing a mask, anyone can do it.  What a bunch of whining crybabies we have in this country today.  "Waaa, waaa, waaaa..."  Oh, my heart bleeds for you, you ignorant fools.  Grow up, be responsible like a mature, well-informed, educated and productive adult member of society and do your part to help contain this deadly virus.

As you can see, I am angry and so damn tired of hearing these idiotic complaints as the virus spreads more and more and as hundreds of thousands of our citizens are killed due to this ignorant idiocy.  I am quite ill with an incurable illness while still struggling with this virus after ten months with weekslong waves of recurring symptoms so I am at my wit's end and out of patience when it comes to sheer ignorant stupidity causing the virus to continue to spread like wildfire.  This pandemic and virus is deadly serious and most other countries on this Earth have been effective at containing this virus.  While most of the rest of the world takes this pandemic seriously, the United States, however, is behaving like a backwards, struggling, poor third world dictatorship.

Now, once again back to my original topic, I have not accomplished much of anything lately due to the combination of this virus, my primary illness and even my extensive spinal injuries.  I have had absolutely no energy to accomplish much of anything.  I don't even have the energy to do anything for the holidays and, for me, that is a huge indication that I really have no energy.  I sometimes get a few "good" days which are not at all "healthy person good" but they are good for me and my health.  Most of my days are filled with pain, breathing issues and fatigue so overwhelming that I can't stand for more than a few seconds.  

Needless to say, this blog has been put on the back burner.  I have a few things I want to write about that are "lighter" than writing about health problems (or venting, as I have done here today) but I simply have not had the energy.  I might get to some of this stuff soon though...  hopefully...