Trying To Find Some Artistic Creativity
When it comes to art and creativity, I've been in a deep rut lately. I just can't seem to produce anything which pleases me.
I'm one of those people who must be feeling fairly well and be in the right frame of mind to create or even attempt anything artistic, including creating music. As you can tell from some of my latest blog entries, my health has been rather lousy lately and this has spilled over into everything I attempt to accomplish.
My health was no different this morning than it has been lately... I awoke feeling worn out, exhausted, my ability to think clearly was a muddled mess. I know I'm in pain (I think my bones are hurting deep inside) so that doesn't help matters any. My mood has been quite poor lately as well (car problems I don't want to deal with, prescription medication problems which are frustrating and causing me to run out of a few important medications compounding my health problems, not having the energy to do the things I want to do, medical test results hanging over my head, a full schedule of medical appointments taking me into the coming year, and generally feeling lousy). On the positive side, my lousy mood has not caused me to be short with anyone at all (at least I don't think so anyway).
The two areas where this poor health and rather lousy mood is noticeable is my outward personality and my lack of artistic creativity.
My demeanor has been sort of emotionless... not angry, not enthusiastic, not all that happy, certainly not unhappy... just kind of "ehh". I'm sure this is noticeable to everyone around me. It is sort of like I am drugged... but I'm not.
Artistic creativity... when I am not thinking clearly nor feeling enthusiastic, happy and content, my artistic creativity suffers. Actually, I have difficulty envisioning anything artistic when I'm not thinking clearly or feel a bit lousy. I have difficulty even shooting some basic photos (forget about a photo shoot involving people/models when I'm feeling a bit lousy). I see things of interest but I just can't seem to properly execute what I am envisioning... if I envision anything at all.
Regardless, I picked up one of my cameras this morning. The weather was much more comfortable today so I wanted to do something outdoors. When I am not thinking clearly, I avoid power tools at all cost so all renovations and home improvements were out. I decided to wander outdoors with one of my cameras.
I grabbed one of my longer lenses and mounted it on my smallest camera body. Clearly, I wasn't thinking because this combination is a tough combination even when I'm feeling well. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have grabbed my favorite camera and lens combination.
All that being said, I managed to capture a few decent photos... nothing exceptional, but nice. The good thing about this is it helped to provide me with a feeling of accomplishment.
"At least I accomplished something."
Everyone, especially those struggling with chronic illness, must find things which help to make them feel productive, creative, useful. Since I am unable to work and often struggle with "down days", art, in general, is one of the things I turn to for this... but, unfortunately, art can also be a struggle because of how my health affects my artistic abilities compounding my frustration about not feeling productive.
I did manage to accomplish a few small things today. None of these things were anything I planned, but I managed to accomplish a few things. As I headed outdoors with my camera, I searched for light... light playing with shadow... interesting combinations of light and shadow... texture... color... tonality...
So, here are a few of today's photos (the photos of flowers from our gardens around the house)... plus one old photo I never showed before but captured my attention this evening (the silhouette of the ducks, below)...
I'm one of those people who must be feeling fairly well and be in the right frame of mind to create or even attempt anything artistic, including creating music. As you can tell from some of my latest blog entries, my health has been rather lousy lately and this has spilled over into everything I attempt to accomplish.
My health was no different this morning than it has been lately... I awoke feeling worn out, exhausted, my ability to think clearly was a muddled mess. I know I'm in pain (I think my bones are hurting deep inside) so that doesn't help matters any. My mood has been quite poor lately as well (car problems I don't want to deal with, prescription medication problems which are frustrating and causing me to run out of a few important medications compounding my health problems, not having the energy to do the things I want to do, medical test results hanging over my head, a full schedule of medical appointments taking me into the coming year, and generally feeling lousy). On the positive side, my lousy mood has not caused me to be short with anyone at all (at least I don't think so anyway).
The two areas where this poor health and rather lousy mood is noticeable is my outward personality and my lack of artistic creativity.
My demeanor has been sort of emotionless... not angry, not enthusiastic, not all that happy, certainly not unhappy... just kind of "ehh". I'm sure this is noticeable to everyone around me. It is sort of like I am drugged... but I'm not.
Artistic creativity... when I am not thinking clearly nor feeling enthusiastic, happy and content, my artistic creativity suffers. Actually, I have difficulty envisioning anything artistic when I'm not thinking clearly or feel a bit lousy. I have difficulty even shooting some basic photos (forget about a photo shoot involving people/models when I'm feeling a bit lousy). I see things of interest but I just can't seem to properly execute what I am envisioning... if I envision anything at all.
Regardless, I picked up one of my cameras this morning. The weather was much more comfortable today so I wanted to do something outdoors. When I am not thinking clearly, I avoid power tools at all cost so all renovations and home improvements were out. I decided to wander outdoors with one of my cameras.
I grabbed one of my longer lenses and mounted it on my smallest camera body. Clearly, I wasn't thinking because this combination is a tough combination even when I'm feeling well. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have grabbed my favorite camera and lens combination.
All that being said, I managed to capture a few decent photos... nothing exceptional, but nice. The good thing about this is it helped to provide me with a feeling of accomplishment.
"At least I accomplished something."
Everyone, especially those struggling with chronic illness, must find things which help to make them feel productive, creative, useful. Since I am unable to work and often struggle with "down days", art, in general, is one of the things I turn to for this... but, unfortunately, art can also be a struggle because of how my health affects my artistic abilities compounding my frustration about not feeling productive.
I did manage to accomplish a few small things today. None of these things were anything I planned, but I managed to accomplish a few things. As I headed outdoors with my camera, I searched for light... light playing with shadow... interesting combinations of light and shadow... texture... color... tonality...
So, here are a few of today's photos (the photos of flowers from our gardens around the house)... plus one old photo I never showed before but captured my attention this evening (the silhouette of the ducks, below)...
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| This one just might be my favorite of this bunch... I love the way the sun was illuminating only this one unhappy-looking flower... sort of the way I've been feeling lately... kind of droopy. |
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