Are You A Cop? (not that being a police officer is a bad thing...)
I can't begin to tell you how much I despise that question no matter how innocently and friendly it may be asked... "Are you a cop?" Especially when it comes as a complete surprise from left field.
It is a question which gets me so angry that I cringe, get frustrated, get angry and have to use all my willpower to restrain from unleashing a torrent of expletives, drill sergeant style, on the clearly unobservant and ignorant inquisitor.
Whenever I travel to other states in the United States, everyone... and I mean everyone... seems to pick up on the fact that I am either active duty military or a veteran... everyone. I get comments and questions about my military status and experience everywhere we go outside of Vermont. I even get handshakes and thanks for my service from complete strangers. Nobody outside of Vermont ever walks up to me and asks, out of the blue, such an absurd question like, "Are you a cop?"
Within the borders of Vermont, however, I am very rarely asked if I am a veteran and far too often asked if I am a cop... sometimes I am even accused of being a cop even after I insist I am not and have never been one. As if I don't know who I am... or what I am!
Worse yet, before I retired and was in uniform in Vermont, I had rocks thrown my way, expletives yelled toward me, and spit spat toward me. Then, when no longer in uniform due to disabilities as a result of an honorable and proud career, I must endure the insult of being asked if I'm a something I have never been nor ever will be... something which is completely unrelated to who I am and what I am.
It happened again last night. Sheila and I were wandering down an aisle at the supermarket and we hear some woman muttering something. This woman was still a good 50 feet away from us when we noticed she was talking out loud. We were the only other people in this long supermarket aisle so I just assumed she was another rude cellphone user talking with an earpiece as though she was talking with someone next to her in real life... I ignored her, turned around, and headed for the opposite end of the aisle. You see... I'm a considerate person and avoid rude people whenever possible to avoid a potential conflict.
Sheila, however, asked her, "Excuse me?" Apparently, Sheila understood that this woman was addressing us from a distance...
After Sheila's response, I begin to wonder to myself, "what could be so important that this woman started talking to us from so far away?" I turn around and wait as she approaches closer, still blabbering about something... then I hear the first intelligible phrase out of her mouth (not to be confused with an intelligent phrase)... "Are you a cop?"
It may have sounded as though I was not holding back in my response but, believe me, I was definitely holding back and restraining myself as I cringed, rolled my eyes and said, "Ugggg... please, anything but a cop..." and turned around and walked away in disgust.
Sheila politely replied that I am an Air Force veteran... the woman then quickly tried to backtrack and blow sunshine up my butt by providing some sort of verbal vomit on how police and Air Force are "the same" because of the discipline involved in each... "God, help me... this lunatic has no idea how much discipline I am using to hold back right now", I whisper to myself, ironically referring to the very woman exhibiting absolutely no self-control, self-discipline nor manners.
I abruptly turn toward her again and sternly state, "I am NOT a cop! They are NOT the same!" I can begin to feel my face turning red because I am so angry and trying to restrain myself. I again abruptly turn and walk away, trying to change the subject with Sheila as we quickly escape to a few aisles away...
The crazy woman is actually following us continuing to mutter some nonsense about how great it is to be a cop and that I shouldn't be offended... she actually follows us four aisles down, continuing her insulting verbal vomit assault. The more she talks, the more she makes me feel as though she is diminishing my accomplishments, my hardships and my resulting disabilities.
The woman has no idea of how disciplined I truly am because, unbeknownst to her, I had effectively restrained myself from getting in her face, nose to nose, to give her a little insight to my thoughts on the subject through gritted teeth.
I am not a cop. I am an airman. I will always be "an airman".
I have immense pride in all I have accomplished in my career. Dismissing my career for another or listening to some ignorant fool who knows absolutely nothing about me or my career comparing my career to anything else feels as though it diminishes what I've worked so hard to achieve... like my disability was for naught... like the excruciating pain I feel all day, everyday, is just due to something less than I know and understand is true.
I'm not asking for a ticker-tape parade... I'm not asking for silly monetary discounts to any businesses (actually, I don't like getting discounts because I am no more "entitled" to them than anyone else... prices are set so employees can earn a living and businesses can thrive... in short, it is not a business's responsibility to provide for me)... I'm not asking for a medal... I'm not asking for a ridiculous "Go Fund Me" site... I'm not even asking for thanks (truth be told, being thanked still evokes very awkward feelings for me and, at times, can make me feel uncomfortable)... I'm simply asking for understanding, dignity, perhaps some respect like everyone deserves and at least the illusion of a continued sense of purpose in this world... and, just perhaps, some acknowledgement of who I truly am rather than people calling me something I am not, never have been, and never will be.
Comparing my career to anything else is like a slap in the face... calling me a cop in a State where the general population still refers to police officers as "pigs" like it is the year 1968 is akin to spitting in my face. And, believe me, far too many Vermonter's have physically spat in my face when they found out I am an airman so I know what that feels like. Yet, I am proud to say and I will always continue to say, "I am an airman!" I have earned the right to say "I am an airman!"
Sheila and I have traveled across these United States... trekking through well over a dozen States together and well over two dozen States on my own... whenever we travel out of state, I am always asked about my military service and there is genuine gratitude expressed and, at times, even tears shed by these gracious, friendly, understanding people.
Not so in Vermont... in Vermont, I am always asked "Are you a cop?" No preamble... no explanations... no small talk... rarely even asked with any emotion... simply and in a tone bordering on accusatory, "Are you a cop?" Then, like in the situation that occurred last night at the supermarket, the person has the balls (or ignorant stupidity) to try to convince me it would be good to be a cop rather than apologize profusely and humbly for their insulting behavior? Unbelievable!
The other ridiculous thing is that it is clear these people asking this absurd question dislike police officers or are ignorant to the fact that police officers do not like being called "cops". It is a bit of a derogatory name similar to calling a man "boy" as you talk down to him.
If I happened to want to talk with someone I may have felt is a police officer (because there were actually significant clues... perhaps a police emblem on a shirt, a hat, etc), first, I wouldn't be rudely blunt... I would make some small talk and ease into the question to feel out whether or not they are receptive to talking about something as personal as their career... and, most importantly, the question would be, "I'm getting a strong vibe that you are in law enforcement... are you a police officer?" Never, "Are you a cop?" Only an ignorant, arrogant jackass would ask this way unless they were truly trying to be rudely annoying.
The crazy thing is that last night when this crazy muttering woman verbally assaulted me, I was dressed in shoes, a polo shirt, an Air Force-style brown leather jacket, and my usual military haircut. Looking at me dressed in this way, most people would ask, "Are you in the Air Force?" And, everyone outside of the State of Vermont does indeed associate me, my demeanor and my appearance to a branch of our elite military no matter what I am wearing... which, admittedly, usually leans toward Air Force styles.
Apparently, all the outward clues about who I am are not noticeable to Vermonters... the assumption is that I am "a cop"... or, as many Vermonters refer to them as though we live in a time bubble stuck in 1968, "a pig". This is how these people choose to see me... (as I shake my head in disgust). This is not about how I feel about honorable police officers. This is about how these callous people choose to see me.
Whenever this question is asked it always extinguishes any glimmer of hope for a civil conversation... it is a question which angers me... it is a question which perplexes me since this is a State which, generally speaking, frowns upon police officers... perhaps even more than they frown upon the military. This question truly perplexes me because I am never asked this asinine question when in any other State in these United States.
I have fielded a lot of stupid, callous questions (yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question) and comments related to my health, disabilities, illness and need for better health care and, at times, the needs of our orphaned Veterans, but nothing angers me more than this ignorant, callous, demeaning question from people of a State who mostly despise police officers...
"Are you a cop?"
"I am NOT a cop... I am an airman."
To my brothers and sisters out there around our world, "Thank you for being part of my military family on this Veteran's Day. Please know that I understand. Be proud of your accomplishments regardless of how people may view you and treat you today. You've earned the right to be proud. Please know you will ALWAYS be an integral part of this family... Happy Veteran's Day... and thank you for being a part of my family."
To those of you who feel it necessary to ask, "Are you a cop?"... well... I think you now know the answer... and where you can go... and where you can stick your ignorant question...
It is a question which gets me so angry that I cringe, get frustrated, get angry and have to use all my willpower to restrain from unleashing a torrent of expletives, drill sergeant style, on the clearly unobservant and ignorant inquisitor.
Within the borders of Vermont, however, I am very rarely asked if I am a veteran and far too often asked if I am a cop... sometimes I am even accused of being a cop even after I insist I am not and have never been one. As if I don't know who I am... or what I am!
Worse yet, before I retired and was in uniform in Vermont, I had rocks thrown my way, expletives yelled toward me, and spit spat toward me. Then, when no longer in uniform due to disabilities as a result of an honorable and proud career, I must endure the insult of being asked if I'm a something I have never been nor ever will be... something which is completely unrelated to who I am and what I am.
It happened again last night. Sheila and I were wandering down an aisle at the supermarket and we hear some woman muttering something. This woman was still a good 50 feet away from us when we noticed she was talking out loud. We were the only other people in this long supermarket aisle so I just assumed she was another rude cellphone user talking with an earpiece as though she was talking with someone next to her in real life... I ignored her, turned around, and headed for the opposite end of the aisle. You see... I'm a considerate person and avoid rude people whenever possible to avoid a potential conflict.
Sheila, however, asked her, "Excuse me?" Apparently, Sheila understood that this woman was addressing us from a distance...
It may have sounded as though I was not holding back in my response but, believe me, I was definitely holding back and restraining myself as I cringed, rolled my eyes and said, "Ugggg... please, anything but a cop..." and turned around and walked away in disgust.
Sheila politely replied that I am an Air Force veteran... the woman then quickly tried to backtrack and blow sunshine up my butt by providing some sort of verbal vomit on how police and Air Force are "the same" because of the discipline involved in each... "God, help me... this lunatic has no idea how much discipline I am using to hold back right now", I whisper to myself, ironically referring to the very woman exhibiting absolutely no self-control, self-discipline nor manners.
I abruptly turn toward her again and sternly state, "I am NOT a cop! They are NOT the same!" I can begin to feel my face turning red because I am so angry and trying to restrain myself. I again abruptly turn and walk away, trying to change the subject with Sheila as we quickly escape to a few aisles away...
The woman has no idea of how disciplined I truly am because, unbeknownst to her, I had effectively restrained myself from getting in her face, nose to nose, to give her a little insight to my thoughts on the subject through gritted teeth.
I am not a cop. I am an airman. I will always be "an airman".
I have immense pride in all I have accomplished in my career. Dismissing my career for another or listening to some ignorant fool who knows absolutely nothing about me or my career comparing my career to anything else feels as though it diminishes what I've worked so hard to achieve... like my disability was for naught... like the excruciating pain I feel all day, everyday, is just due to something less than I know and understand is true.
I'm not asking for a ticker-tape parade... I'm not asking for silly monetary discounts to any businesses (actually, I don't like getting discounts because I am no more "entitled" to them than anyone else... prices are set so employees can earn a living and businesses can thrive... in short, it is not a business's responsibility to provide for me)... I'm not asking for a medal... I'm not asking for a ridiculous "Go Fund Me" site... I'm not even asking for thanks (truth be told, being thanked still evokes very awkward feelings for me and, at times, can make me feel uncomfortable)... I'm simply asking for understanding, dignity, perhaps some respect like everyone deserves and at least the illusion of a continued sense of purpose in this world... and, just perhaps, some acknowledgement of who I truly am rather than people calling me something I am not, never have been, and never will be.
Comparing my career to anything else is like a slap in the face... calling me a cop in a State where the general population still refers to police officers as "pigs" like it is the year 1968 is akin to spitting in my face. And, believe me, far too many Vermonter's have physically spat in my face when they found out I am an airman so I know what that feels like. Yet, I am proud to say and I will always continue to say, "I am an airman!" I have earned the right to say "I am an airman!"
Sheila and I have traveled across these United States... trekking through well over a dozen States together and well over two dozen States on my own... whenever we travel out of state, I am always asked about my military service and there is genuine gratitude expressed and, at times, even tears shed by these gracious, friendly, understanding people.
Not so in Vermont... in Vermont, I am always asked "Are you a cop?" No preamble... no explanations... no small talk... rarely even asked with any emotion... simply and in a tone bordering on accusatory, "Are you a cop?" Then, like in the situation that occurred last night at the supermarket, the person has the balls (or ignorant stupidity) to try to convince me it would be good to be a cop rather than apologize profusely and humbly for their insulting behavior? Unbelievable!
The other ridiculous thing is that it is clear these people asking this absurd question dislike police officers or are ignorant to the fact that police officers do not like being called "cops". It is a bit of a derogatory name similar to calling a man "boy" as you talk down to him.
If I happened to want to talk with someone I may have felt is a police officer (because there were actually significant clues... perhaps a police emblem on a shirt, a hat, etc), first, I wouldn't be rudely blunt... I would make some small talk and ease into the question to feel out whether or not they are receptive to talking about something as personal as their career... and, most importantly, the question would be, "I'm getting a strong vibe that you are in law enforcement... are you a police officer?" Never, "Are you a cop?" Only an ignorant, arrogant jackass would ask this way unless they were truly trying to be rudely annoying.
Apparently, all the outward clues about who I am are not noticeable to Vermonters... the assumption is that I am "a cop"... or, as many Vermonters refer to them as though we live in a time bubble stuck in 1968, "a pig". This is how these people choose to see me... (as I shake my head in disgust). This is not about how I feel about honorable police officers. This is about how these callous people choose to see me.
Whenever this question is asked it always extinguishes any glimmer of hope for a civil conversation... it is a question which angers me... it is a question which perplexes me since this is a State which, generally speaking, frowns upon police officers... perhaps even more than they frown upon the military. This question truly perplexes me because I am never asked this asinine question when in any other State in these United States.
I have fielded a lot of stupid, callous questions (yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question) and comments related to my health, disabilities, illness and need for better health care and, at times, the needs of our orphaned Veterans, but nothing angers me more than this ignorant, callous, demeaning question from people of a State who mostly despise police officers...
"Are you a cop?"
"I am NOT a cop... I am an airman."
To my brothers and sisters out there around our world, "Thank you for being part of my military family on this Veteran's Day. Please know that I understand. Be proud of your accomplishments regardless of how people may view you and treat you today. You've earned the right to be proud. Please know you will ALWAYS be an integral part of this family... Happy Veteran's Day... and thank you for being a part of my family."
To those of you who feel it necessary to ask, "Are you a cop?"... well... I think you now know the answer... and where you can go... and where you can stick your ignorant question...
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