A Quick Studio Practice Session in Illumination
This morning was another morning darkened by a medical appointment for ongoing cancer. Sheila and I seem to share everything and, unfortunately, this is one of those things we have in common. Today was my turn.
To be honest, even after all these years of never-ending medical appointments, I still have difficulty seeing anything on my calendar beyond these important medical appointments... I just see darkness. When I pictured my calendar in my head, the months and days only went to January 11th... Monday... 2016... then complete darkness.
No matter how hard I try, I just cannot shed any light on this calendar in my head until I get beyond these dark appointments.
On the positive side, these appointments allow us to spend more time together rather than apart while Sheila is at work. We always eat out on these days as well. And, that is always nice.
Before Sheila was in my life, I seemed to know more medical professionals than others. I would walk into a hospital and the people at the Info Desk would greet me with a smile by my first name... nurses who I would pass on my way to my doctor's office would light up and ask how I am... doctors I would pass along the way who remember me from previous ER visits and appointments would shake my hand and ask a few quick questions. Now, I have a fairly normal life again which revolves more firmly around Sheila and our family and friends. This is definitely more "normal" and actually nice.
This morning's appointment was weighing heavily on me for months. I actually put this appointment off (as well as a few others) much longer than my doctors wanted because... well, simply put... I'm tired of medical appointments. I am physically tired... I am mentally tired... and I am emotionally tired of constant medical appointments so, lately, I have been pushing them all to the back burner if I could get away with it. I simply do not have the energy for needless conflict... needless drama... needless anything.
As far as my health is concerned, we seemed to have moved into a different stage... we are into more of a research stage for most of my appointments (although today's appointment was more of a preventive maintenance sort of thing for ongoing cancer). I decided a couple of years ago that it is time for me to be a bit selfish. It is time to think of Sheila and myself. We are the number one priority. As a result, I have pushed all 'regular' appointments off my calendar and out of my mind. Any appointments which are mostly for research purposes are something for which I have no energy. It is time to save what little energy I have left for Sheila and for me.
Whenever we do go to one of these appointments, however, there is the risk of needing many followup appointments for treatment. Today was one of those days. Although I did not really leave this appointment with a "clean" bill of health, I can put this particular ongoing problem aside for another year so that is good.
Suddenly, the calendar in my head now showed days beyond January 11th... I was able to see our next trip out of town in a few weeks... I was able to see our next summer at the lake... and a few other possible trips... darkness turned to light... and light reminds me of photography so photography was suddenly on my mind and something I wanted to do.
After we left the hospital, Sheila and I then enjoyed a nice, quiet lunch at a restaurant we don't get to visit often enough.
By the time we arrived back home, I was exhausted and slept the entire afternoon. This, too, was nice and much needed! As I passed out on the couch, Sheila headed back to work. As much as I wanted to grab my camera and create some photos, I needed to sleep.
About an hour and a half after Sheila arrived back home from work, I finally awoke. Once I shook the cobwebs out of my head, I jumped into some photography.
I've been focused on portrait photography lately and I have wanted to test out a few specific things. Unfortunately, the only way to test out new things I've learned pertaining to portrait photography require a model yet I spend my days alone. Now Sheila was home and I was awake so I figured it was time to pull out some gear and play. We played for about an hour before I switched gears and started working on dinner.
I'm not going to bore everyone by getting into any of the technical aspects of this evening's short studio session but I'll say it was about the fine nuances of light and color balance. I also used a lens I have not yet used for studio portraits. This lens has a nice focal length, is very sharp but requires some manual focusing skills. It is always nice when I use a manual focus lens and still attain sharp focus!
In the end, I came away from today's quick studio practice session with a nice portrait of Sheila. After the burden and little bit of stress of my medical appointment this morning, this is a beautiful portrait in beautiful light to have created this evening... and, as an added plus, my calendar for 2016 now has some bright light illuminating it also...
To be honest, even after all these years of never-ending medical appointments, I still have difficulty seeing anything on my calendar beyond these important medical appointments... I just see darkness. When I pictured my calendar in my head, the months and days only went to January 11th... Monday... 2016... then complete darkness.
No matter how hard I try, I just cannot shed any light on this calendar in my head until I get beyond these dark appointments.
On the positive side, these appointments allow us to spend more time together rather than apart while Sheila is at work. We always eat out on these days as well. And, that is always nice.
Before Sheila was in my life, I seemed to know more medical professionals than others. I would walk into a hospital and the people at the Info Desk would greet me with a smile by my first name... nurses who I would pass on my way to my doctor's office would light up and ask how I am... doctors I would pass along the way who remember me from previous ER visits and appointments would shake my hand and ask a few quick questions. Now, I have a fairly normal life again which revolves more firmly around Sheila and our family and friends. This is definitely more "normal" and actually nice.
This morning's appointment was weighing heavily on me for months. I actually put this appointment off (as well as a few others) much longer than my doctors wanted because... well, simply put... I'm tired of medical appointments. I am physically tired... I am mentally tired... and I am emotionally tired of constant medical appointments so, lately, I have been pushing them all to the back burner if I could get away with it. I simply do not have the energy for needless conflict... needless drama... needless anything.
As far as my health is concerned, we seemed to have moved into a different stage... we are into more of a research stage for most of my appointments (although today's appointment was more of a preventive maintenance sort of thing for ongoing cancer). I decided a couple of years ago that it is time for me to be a bit selfish. It is time to think of Sheila and myself. We are the number one priority. As a result, I have pushed all 'regular' appointments off my calendar and out of my mind. Any appointments which are mostly for research purposes are something for which I have no energy. It is time to save what little energy I have left for Sheila and for me.
Whenever we do go to one of these appointments, however, there is the risk of needing many followup appointments for treatment. Today was one of those days. Although I did not really leave this appointment with a "clean" bill of health, I can put this particular ongoing problem aside for another year so that is good.
Suddenly, the calendar in my head now showed days beyond January 11th... I was able to see our next trip out of town in a few weeks... I was able to see our next summer at the lake... and a few other possible trips... darkness turned to light... and light reminds me of photography so photography was suddenly on my mind and something I wanted to do.
After we left the hospital, Sheila and I then enjoyed a nice, quiet lunch at a restaurant we don't get to visit often enough.
By the time we arrived back home, I was exhausted and slept the entire afternoon. This, too, was nice and much needed! As I passed out on the couch, Sheila headed back to work. As much as I wanted to grab my camera and create some photos, I needed to sleep.
About an hour and a half after Sheila arrived back home from work, I finally awoke. Once I shook the cobwebs out of my head, I jumped into some photography.
I've been focused on portrait photography lately and I have wanted to test out a few specific things. Unfortunately, the only way to test out new things I've learned pertaining to portrait photography require a model yet I spend my days alone. Now Sheila was home and I was awake so I figured it was time to pull out some gear and play. We played for about an hour before I switched gears and started working on dinner.
I'm not going to bore everyone by getting into any of the technical aspects of this evening's short studio session but I'll say it was about the fine nuances of light and color balance. I also used a lens I have not yet used for studio portraits. This lens has a nice focal length, is very sharp but requires some manual focusing skills. It is always nice when I use a manual focus lens and still attain sharp focus!
In the end, I came away from today's quick studio practice session with a nice portrait of Sheila. After the burden and little bit of stress of my medical appointment this morning, this is a beautiful portrait in beautiful light to have created this evening... and, as an added plus, my calendar for 2016 now has some bright light illuminating it also...
Comments
Post a Comment