Scattered Thoughts . . .

I've had Systemic Mastocytosis episodes ranging in severity from 1 to 10 over the past decade and a half. Some episodes are worse than others but they are all quite debilitating.  Some episodes last for weeks, some for days, and, on the rare occasion, only hours. The symptoms of these episodes are varied but always include physically, mentally and emotionally debilitating symptoms, a lot of pain, and even life threatening symptoms. Last night, however, I experienced a type of episode which was new for me. Many other patients experience this type of episode often but it was a first for me. I don't think this means much since each patient presents this illness differently. Last night, my breathing became difficult rather suddenly and then I quickly noticed that swallowing was difficult. I definitely knew this was not a good thing! Within about a minute, I realized that my throat was swelling and closing.  I quickly grabbed my bag of medications as well as my emergency medic

Whenever my health fails with mast cell issues, a whole slew of extra medications and emergency medications are needed on top of the immense assortment of everyday medications I must consume daily in order to stay here among the living. These emergency medications, however, bring on a grogginess and foggy state which is difficult to effectively and accurately describe. I feel like I am walking around in a different dimension than the rest of the population on our tiny rock in our vast, ever-expanding universe. I feel like this dimension is cold, damp, rather dark... like an underground tunnel... except at this stage of recovery, there is no brilliant light shining at the end of this tunnel... just shadows... silence... almost like a vacuum void of all things we understand as life. As can be expected, my brain  is significantly impacted  with an imposed suppression of cognitive ability due to the grogginess brought on by these drugs (albeit life-saving drugs, for me). My mind bou