Difficult Decisions and Cancer

For those following this blog, you know that Sheila has been in treatment for her second bout with breast cancer.  Additionally, this time around, the cancer had spread to her lymphatic system too.  She has been through successful surgery to remove the cancer (well...  this was actually her third cancer surgery), aggressive radiation therapy and, at this point, 13 months of ten years of drug therapy targeting her specific form of cancer in order to minimize the chance of recurrence.  More importantly, as many of you already know, Sheila has been having a very difficult time with the first 13 months of this drug therapy...  although I suspect few know just how much this long-term treatment has affected her quality of life.  

Sheila's problems with this drug treatment have been so difficult and so severe that she has been to the ER.  Even the ER doctors were visibly concerned and a bit shaken because the initial thoughts were that perhaps her cancer had spread to her brain.  I know I was concerned and shaken because those were my thoughts as well and the very reason why the ambulance was called.  About seven hours later, the doctor literally bounced into Sheila's room, almost skipping and with a huge smile on her face, to tell us that all the test results show no cancer.  Although Sheila's side-effects have not landed her in the ER again in recent months, her day-to-day quality of life has been absolutely miserable.  Not a day in the past 13 months has gone by without Sheila wondering aloud how she could possibly endure ten years of this misery.  We both kept hoping that "tomorrow will be better" while throwing additional, supplemental treatment at the debilitating side effects but things have only progressed in the opposite direction.

Needless to say, we've had a lot of discussions recently about the pro's and con's of treatment vs aborting treatment.  We even discussed these options with Sheila's oncologist in early December.  At that appointment we discussed survival rates with and without drug therapy.  All sorts of percentages and statistics were discussed at great length, actually.  At this point, today, both of us are in agreement that enduring another nine years of this treatment would be like being condemned to a life in hell.  

Since we both are deep into decades of living life with chronic illnesses, we are both well aware that it is extremely important to combat any chronic illness with happiness, laughter and as stress-free as possible.  Conversely, being stressed, in pain, overwhelmingly exhausted, unhappy, miserable and feeling like you are in hell will only streamline the development of a new chronic illness or bring on the original illness again.  The more worn down you are, the more vulnerable your body is to serious illness.

Of course, we understand that acute problems can occasionally pop up and cause short-term hardships but ten solid years of debilitating treatment would be considered chronic and long-term in itself and, in Sheila's case, would more than likely do more harm than good in the long run.  Happiness and state of mind are perhaps the most powerful and incredible tools, and perhaps often underrated tools, in combating any illness or even keeping an illness at bay just simmering rather than progressing.  It is a bit ironic that we are trying to keep a third occurrence of cancer from developing in Sheila's body but the very treatment to accomplish this seems to be only providing the ideal mental, emotional and physical conditions for worsening her health and, possibly, bringing on cancer again or some other life-threatening illness.

Considering all of this very seriously and over the course of months, as of today, Sheila has stopped her cancer treatment.  There are very many factors that support this very serious decision but I am not going to get into all of them here.  It's been a year and a half of mostly poor and mostly worsening health, hospitals, cancer treatment and feeling quite miserable.  Quite simply, Sheila is beyond ready to put her painful, energy-sapping, non-stop, and debilitating treatment side-effects behind her and find her life again.