Scattered Thoughts . . .

Sheila and I just arrived back home from the hospital again.  We spent much of the day at the hospital yesterday with a visit to Sheila's Oncologist and we had to go back first thing this morning for a bone density scan. We're both exhausted but I thought I would add a few updates about Sheila's treatment before taking a nap. For the past couple of weeks, we had been waiting on test results which would classify the risks of Sheila's specific cancer (in both the tumor in the breast and the lymph nodes). This classification would help us (including the medical team) make the decisions about specific treatment plans. Actually, the wait for these test results seemed like a couple of months and this unexpectedly long wait has definitely affected Sheila emotionally.  Although few people see it or realize it, all chronically ill patients go through a series of emotions which is a bit like being strapped to an emotional rollercoaster. Most times, these patients will ca

Our plan for today was to head up to Burlington to continue Sheila's cancer treatment plan. Unfortunately, late yesterday afternoon, Sheila received a call from her nurse at the Breast Care Center informing her that today's appointment with the Oncologist was canceled and rescheduled for late next week... another delay and more frustration. I have little doubt that Sheila is probably more frustrated than I am about the delay in treatment. I'm sure she doesn't like her whole treatment plan being put on hold, hanging over her head for longer than necessary, and weighing her down (and I am well aware that it is at this point in the waiting) .  We are also waiting for news about the latest test results which just happens to be the cause for this delay. Wondering about the results of this test is frustrating and causes some anxiety. Are the results going to show only a 'low risk'?  Or, are we dealing with cancer that rates as a higher risk? ...wait... wonder a

I haven't been completely happy with the photos I have been shooting while Sheila and I are at the hospital so I've been searching for a more appropriate lens to buy.  The lens I had been using for documenting our hospital visits was one I had chosen for our trip to San Antonio almost three years ago. At the time, I needed an inexpensive ultra wide angle lens and that previous lens had served its purpose in San Antonio as well as in other places such as at the lake house and other cities.  That being said, that previous lens really wasn't a great lens though because the only part of the image that would be sharp would be the center of the frame. The blurry edges of the frame for my hospital shots was not working for me at all. While we were at the hospital, I was capturing photos of Sheila composed near the edges of the frame only to find that she was always blurry when she was situated near the edge of the frame. It was driving me crazy! This new lens needed to be

Friday, we were back at the hospital again for a followup with the surgeon.  Sheila's recovery from her surgery a week prior to this appointment has been relatively uneventful for which we are both very thankful. I definitely want to point out that Sheila's surgeon has done an outstanding job on this partial mastectomy as well as the biopsy and in effectively managing a slightly different and perhaps slightly creative protocol to avoid Sheila's history of problems stemming from anesthesia. In previous surgeries, Sheila has had significant problems with anesthesia and this new surgeon and anesthesiologist really came through in finding a solution to Sheila's rather unique problems.  Additionally,  Sheila's incisions are healing nicely and she is getting more and more comfortable each day. In our appointment on Friday, the surgeon cleared Sheila to begin doing more physically demanding things again as she feels up to it. Naturally, this is good news. 

Yesterday, we spent the day at the hospital running from appointment to appointment and squeezing in a couple of unscheduled stops too.  We had thought it would be a straightforward day with no significant news (which means we expected no stress and no problems) . Not only did we receive some new news but we found that there is such a thing as different levels of bad news. We started at Genetics. Here we discussed new genetic tests that help determine whether there are any known genetic components to Sheila's cancer. If we find that there are any known genetic components, then Sheila's children and grandchildren will be on a completely different and more aggressive preventive medicine schedule than that recommended for the general public.  The purpose of this genetic testing is to rate the risk of cancer being carried genetically through statistics and common cancer genes in order to avoid potential cancer getting out of hand in any children or grandchildren before the r

Yesterday morning, we arose at o'dark thirty... unfortunately, not all that bright eyed and bushy tailed... so we could head north to check into the hospital for Sheila's third surgery related to recurring breast cancer.  I don't think either one of us slept all that well. I admit that I was a bit anxious and I know Sheila was a bit anxious too. Plus, I was concerned about oversleeping since we needed to get up so early. We arose on time, however, and were headed to the hospital within 45 minutes. We arrived at the hospital before sunrise and long before anyone else so we were treated to an empty parking garage and a front row parking spot... We headed directly to the Registration Desks to check in for today's surgery. While checking in, we had a nice conversation with the registration administrator about yoga, strength training, the kids, the grandkids, cruises and visiting Disney... After registration, we made the short walk to the end of the towering lo

Although the doctor who spoke with us after Sheila's ultrasound had already told us that he was absolutely certain that what was found in Sheila's imaging was indeed cancer, we did receive word today from the Breast Care Center that the biopsy results from the other day are definitely positive. So, there are no surprises at this point. We expected the biopsy to indicate this outcome. After all, we already viewed the imaging ourselves in real time and know what we saw.  Regardless, it was still a little difficult for Sheila to hear the nurse say "the results are positive". Nobody wants to hear that even if you are already prepared for it and well versed in hearing it. What is more important in these particular biopsy results is not whether the results are positive or negative but finding out more specific information about the type of cancer and available therapies after surgery for this type of cancer. We'll be discussing these specifics with the Oncology Surg

The following morning after we sat down with the doctor to discuss the results of Sheila's mammogram and ultrasound imaging, we were headed back to the hospital for a biopsy. Sheila has been down this road before. Her first biopsy was 11 years ago, then surgery, radiation, chemo and the years of follow-up testing, imaging and exams. But, this morning, we were back at square one again. I have to say that it was not a pleasant feeling to be back at square one again. We both were so anxious that we thought we couldn't eat. We sat down to eat but we both commented that we had no desire for food whatsoever. The funny thing is... once we started eating, we pretty much finished our meals. I think the food absorbed some of the stomach acid being pumped into our empty stomachs due to our nerves. We felt a bit better after eating. On the drive to the hospital this morning our conversation changed from a pep talk type of thing giving positive reinforcement to someone who has already

I've said this countless times before, with my voice and on this blog, but I'll remind everyone anyway... Just because a cancer patient may appear to be cancer-free at any given moment, this in no way means the patient "beat cancer" or, an even sillier notion, "kicked cancer's ass".   The fact is... and, yes, this is a fact and not just my opinion... that cancer patients have a significantly higher incidence of a recurrence of cancer compared to the incidence of a person who has never had cancer getting cancer for the first time. Until there is a true cure for cancer, the statistics show that the cancer patient is only buying time in getting beyond the first occurrence of cancer.  Unfortunately, the time that Sheila bought (or perhaps "earned") by getting beyond her first occurrence of cancer is suddenly up.  This all started last week, Sheila and I traveled up to Burlington last week for a mammogram. This is a standard, typical, repet