Persistent Poor Health
Last week, for the most part, I experienced a lot of lousy health which interfered with getting anything accomplished on the house. We're pretty antsy to get this other bedroom finished but my health is making that seem like an insurmountable task.
I don't even remember what the health problems were last week... some combination of typical Systemic Mastocytosis symptoms... but I spent most of the week sleeping.
I felt halfway decent on Saturday but only managed to accomplish about an hour of work before the overwhelming fatigue took over and rendered me useless.
On Sunday, I felt great! It was Sheila's last day of a usual short weekend and it was Mother's Day too so I decided to use my new energy by spending time with Sheila rather than working on the house. I figured I could put this time aside for Sheila and then work on the house the following day.... Wrong again.
My health crashed again. At some point this week, I did manage to squeeze in an hour or two of work on that bedroom. (Which resulted in a mess of building materials residing in the kitchen which seems to be more noticeable than what I accomplished.) My health has been rather disappointingly lousy all week this week... overwhelming fatigue, tremors in my hands (which means no power tools), twitching eyes (a maddening symptom which oftentimes lasts for days or weeks causing everything in my vision to be vibrating in time with the twitching), twitching muscles in various parts of my body, lower GI cramping and pain, bone pain, joint pain, spinal pain, consistent difficulty breathing and just generally feeling quite lousy overall. Needless to say, being productive is not something I accomplished this week!
I'm glad I put that one good day aside to spend time with Sheila but I'm still beating myself up over the fact that I have not had a chance to accomplish anything of significance in two weeks. That is something I rarely write about and never talk about... beating myself up over being unproductive when it comes to tasks and projects, about feeling like I never accomplish even the smallest of tasks nevermind the entire project, and how this painful, debilitating, incurable illness affects me emotionally.
I really need to write about the emotional aspects of struggling with chronic illness but not today. I'm exhausted again... groggy from emergency medications... feeling like I'm going to be sick at any moment... struggling with cognitive reasoning (brain fog) and generally feeling lousy. This is something to write about when I can think concisely and clearly... not today.
Right now is down time... it is the far too common time when my life is forced into abeyance...
I don't even remember what the health problems were last week... some combination of typical Systemic Mastocytosis symptoms... but I spent most of the week sleeping.
I felt halfway decent on Saturday but only managed to accomplish about an hour of work before the overwhelming fatigue took over and rendered me useless.
On Sunday, I felt great! It was Sheila's last day of a usual short weekend and it was Mother's Day too so I decided to use my new energy by spending time with Sheila rather than working on the house. I figured I could put this time aside for Sheila and then work on the house the following day.... Wrong again.
My health crashed again. At some point this week, I did manage to squeeze in an hour or two of work on that bedroom. (Which resulted in a mess of building materials residing in the kitchen which seems to be more noticeable than what I accomplished.) My health has been rather disappointingly lousy all week this week... overwhelming fatigue, tremors in my hands (which means no power tools), twitching eyes (a maddening symptom which oftentimes lasts for days or weeks causing everything in my vision to be vibrating in time with the twitching), twitching muscles in various parts of my body, lower GI cramping and pain, bone pain, joint pain, spinal pain, consistent difficulty breathing and just generally feeling quite lousy overall. Needless to say, being productive is not something I accomplished this week!
I'm glad I put that one good day aside to spend time with Sheila but I'm still beating myself up over the fact that I have not had a chance to accomplish anything of significance in two weeks. That is something I rarely write about and never talk about... beating myself up over being unproductive when it comes to tasks and projects, about feeling like I never accomplish even the smallest of tasks nevermind the entire project, and how this painful, debilitating, incurable illness affects me emotionally.
I really need to write about the emotional aspects of struggling with chronic illness but not today. I'm exhausted again... groggy from emergency medications... feeling like I'm going to be sick at any moment... struggling with cognitive reasoning (brain fog) and generally feeling lousy. This is something to write about when I can think concisely and clearly... not today.
Right now is down time... it is the far too common time when my life is forced into abeyance...
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